Bang Bang
by JasmienV
Summary: Poem with some flashbacks.


My first Victorious fic, I hope you like it and please review.

AN: I don't own Victorious because if I did Avan would be shirtless all the time okay?

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><p><strong>Do you remember her now? The girl who never used to smile?<br>She might fall into your mind, and might stay for while.  
>Do you remember her eyes, dark brown with no glow?<br>She cried them out for hours when she had no where to go.**

_She was sitting alone with her head down when I walked towards her.  
>"What's up?"<br>She was startled but when she realised it was me she smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes.  
>"Oh, nothing."<br>But I just knew that there was something wrong because her eyes looked so dull, they didn't have the usual spark in it._

**Thick and faded scars entirely covered her arm.**  
><strong>Did you ever stop to wonder words could do such harm?<strong>  
><strong>She told others to hold on, to keep going, to stay strong.<strong>  
><strong>You actually thought she was happy? You were wrong.<strong>

_She baked me some cupcakes when I was crying over Beck.  
>"Stay strong Jade. You're amazing."<br>She gave me a hug before she left and I apologized for calling her a pet.  
>"It's okay, I've been called worse. Bye!"<br>As she waved I noticed a cut on her arm that wasn't there yesterday.  
>So no, it wasn't okay.<em>

**Battling herself, she was trapped in her very own mind.  
>A lost and broken child no one bothered to find.<br>Wanting nothing more than for the pain to finally end,  
>She settled for the only option; it was time to drop dead.<strong>

_She was sitting alone again, lost in her thoughts.  
>When I was walking over I heard her mumbeling things like 'death', 'pain', 'alone' and 'broken'.<br>I stopped right in my tracks and turned around.  
>This couldn't be happening. Not her.<br>I don't believe it. I won't believe it.  
>Maybe if I talked to her about it, she would still be here.<em>

**Her fragile grip on hope was beginning to wear loose,  
>Other thoughts consumed her mind, the gun, pills, or noose?<br>This child was a lost cause, not worthy of being missed.  
>Her hands were never held, her lips remained unkissed.<strong>

_"Why doesn't anyone like me, Jade?"  
>"Everybody likes you."<br>"No... I don't mean like that. I mean why doesn't anyone like like me, you know?"  
>"Alot of guys like you and Robbie does too."<br>"Jade! That's not very nice. But I don't believe you."  
>"Fine, whatever."<br>A couple minutes past when that dreadful question came from her:  
>"What would be the best way to die?"<em>

**No one stayed long enough to show that they care,  
>The feeling of being worthless was just too much to bare.<br>Recovery became an idea way out of her reach.  
>Why could she save others, but not practice what she preached?<strong>

_"Did Beck ever say that you're worthless?"  
>"No, he never said that. Why?"<br>"My ex said I was this morning."  
>"Oh hell no, do you want me to mutate him? I've the perfect pair of scissors for that."<br>"No, you don't have to. Now lets work on this song to show Beck you still love him."_

**She treated others so lovely, but herself like dirt.  
>Was there ever a day not filled with hurt?<br>She insisited she was fine, it was what they wanted to hear.  
>She had them fooled, while she planned to disappear.<strong>

_"Are you okay?"  
>"Oh, yeah. I'm fine."<br>"Don't lie to me."  
>"It's just that everyone looks so pretty and skinny and I don't."<br>"But you look amazing, you always do."  
>"Then why did Robbie blow me off for Tori?"<em>

**She kept her share of secrets, one she would never tell.  
>Outside she remained quiet, but her mind was begging to yell.<br>The darkness never faded, it never turned to light.  
>"That's it" she said, "I give up!" It all ended tonight.<strong>

_She gave everything to have the lead in that play. It was meant for her.  
>But Tori walked by and look who got the part.<br>Her eyes were filled with pain when she heard.  
>"Why can't I be good enough?" she wispered to herself, thinking I didn't hear it.<br>Tori smiled at her and told her that she would get the next one.  
>But this was her breaking point and I knew it.<br>"That's it, " she whispered, "I give up."  
>If only I helped her.<em>

**A friend could have saved her, maybe convince her to stay.  
>But everyone she opened up to, gave up along the way.<br>She could have made it far, but couldn't do it on her own.  
>Maybe this would be different if she wasn't so alone.<strong>

_They all gave up on her because she just wasn't her normal happy self anymore.  
>You could see it in her eyes that she was feeling alone.<br>That night she called everyone but they didn't pick up.  
>I couldn't because the batteries died and I was to freaking lazy to charge the damn thing.<br>She left me a voicemail, saying goodbye._

**You thought she could make it through whatever,  
>And now she is done, and will be gone forever.<br>Her time is up, she put the gun to her head.  
>Her hand slowly pulls the trigger, bang bang, she's finally dead.<strong>

_I really thought she could make it through whatever with her happy smile.  
>But I was wrong, the smile was fake so that couldn't work.<br>I ran over to her house that evening, the ambulance was there.  
>They told me it was too late, that she was gone.<br>She killed herself with her father's gun.  
>Bang bang.<br>I'm sure she'll be happy in heaven._

"Cat, I'm sorry for not being there that night and for not helping you through everything eventhough I knew about it," I smiled a little, "I love you and I won't forget you. Promise me you'll wait for me in heaven. Bye Cat."

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><p>AN: I'll give you a cookie if you review, no wait! I'll give you a cupcake.<p> 


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